i have been trying to write something really good for days. when its done ill leave it here. for now just this.
its spring and never has it been more obvious. i am scared of change, yet hate routine. its a conflict of opinion in my head. im about to live on my own for the first time in my life. i have lived away from my family for years now, but always with friends or lovers and now im going to be on my own, not just in a house but in a city where i dont know anybody. im excited and im nervous. im not sure how to look at this. positive is the only way.
goood stuff has been happening this week. i feel something different, and for someone new. im not sure wether this is good or bad or really really weird but it feels just great, so im sticking with it. i dont even care if he doesnt like me, and its all goes rubbish because this week i have felt different, i feel happier than i have in so long. and i havent been obsessing about things i have no control over, i havent worried about money or work, ive just been thinking (just thinking) and its really fucking great.
I cant wait til the weekend.
this is such a bad update. im sorry. ive lost my appetite.
